Two girls

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Average: 5 (1 vote)

Another 5 random jokes

A real gut-buster

A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said. “Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

Average: 7 (1 vote)

Anime fans

Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?

Average: 7 (1 vote)

A blond and a brunette in a car

There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."

Average: 7 (1 vote)

Tie me up

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.

Average: 8 (1 vote)


How did we know that Monica would testify? Because she has a history of not being able to keep her mouth closed.

Average: 4 (1 vote)