Quarterback rescue

An apartment building is on fire. Firefighters are on the scene, however both their ladder and life net are broken. A star quarterback sees the commotion and asks, "What's happening? Can I help?" The fire chief says, "There's a mother and baby stuck in the building on the 19th floor! The mother is up there in the window. Can you catch her child?" The mother frantically waves down to the men below and the football player shouts up to her, "Go ahead, I'm ready!" He holds his arms out and the women drops the infant. Just when the quarterback deftly catches the child, he spikes it to the ground yelling, "TOUCHDOWN!"

Average: 9 (1 vote)
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Another 5 random jokes

Politicians

A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.

Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Died a virgin

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."

Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Anime fans

Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?

Answer
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral

An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit." The mortician says, "We’ll take care of it, ma’am," and yells to the back, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"

Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Where were you born?

Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "California."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "All of me."

Average: 9 (1 vote)
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