Nephew

Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby. "Stop! You can't do this!" exclaims the brother. "And why not?" asks Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?" Stan says nothing. The brother grows impatient, "C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle." Stan can’t take it anymore. He gives his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asks his brother, "You're sure you want a nephew?" "Yes," the brother replies. "It would be an honor." "Well, congratulations, you're holding him."

Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Another 5 random jokes

Politicians

A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.

Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Died a virgin

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."

Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Anime fans

Why do anime fans listen to the radio in the morning?

Answer
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral

An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit." The mortician says, "We’ll take care of it, ma’am," and yells to the back, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"

Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Where were you born?

Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "California."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "All of me."

Average: 9 (1 vote)
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