Life in the retirement village

Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman says every so often when he's in the bathroom getting ready for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs up in the air so when he comes out he can't help but have sex with her. The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily. Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!"

Average: 9 (1 vote)

Another 5 random jokes

Survivors

If a plane crashed on the Canada/USA border, where would the survivors be buried?

Answer
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Category

Monica Lewinsky

Did you hear about Monica Lewinsky becoming a Republican? The Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Average: 6 (1 vote)
Category

Hurricane

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: "Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

Average: 8 (1 vote)
Category

One million dollar

I told my wife that I would get a tattoo on my pecker of a one-million dollar bill. This way she can blow a million bucks without leaving the house.

Average: 6 (1 vote)

Pretty or ugly

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

Average: 6 (1 vote)
Category