A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his cigarette pack. "I found them in the hallway. Now, if only I could find my sweet little hamster."
Jokes for Children
All jokes for children on jokes-for-us.com (page 1). In total there are 16 jokes for children on the site. The jokes are ordered according to the score that visitors have given to a joke. Help with the site and also give a good or bad score to the jokes you read.
Note: if you click on tags you can get jokes with adult content.
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?"
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?"
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was!" The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said: "Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."